The Risk Invlolved

We've met.
We've conversed.
We've become familiar with.
We've been honest.
We've allowed vulnerability.

So far, so good. Yet, after a few times together and after the feelings that have grown I am now more realistically faced with the risk involved.
I am not scared.
I am not unsure.
I am not in doubt.
I am not confused.
Yet, at this point I feel as though the Haunting of Risk is beginning to whisper and I am in new territory as far as retaliation against it goes. I will not give into fear, which means I will have faith. I will not second guess my gut, which means I may see a bolder side to myself. It is entirely worth the risk. No matter the outcome. I will not stand by to be diminished slowly by the insecurities that naturally will have to be looked upon face-to-face. I will stay true to honesty and realness. Because I want honest and real results.
I am sure of where I stand at this point, and those feelings do not scare me one bit. I have never been this sure this quickly with the security of peace that I have. What scares me is the other person involved. Even though I feel they have kept to honesty themselves, I do not fully know where their heart is, do I? Even though they've expressed mutual feelings and excitement and even mutual nerves, I cannot know at this point in time if theirs are the hands trustworthy of my heart. Ultimately, at the end of the day, my heart is held safely in the hands of my Jesus. And that is my peace.

Time truly plays a vital role in the thoughts above and I pray that I seek the wisdom daily to take each day with each minute and not a second more. I long to learn to use patience. I think the absence of it has a lot to do with the nerves, anxiousness and fear.
What a learning experience life is. There is no day that I am incapable of growing. There is no situation I am incapable of gaining insight. As long as I live each day I will be refined. The key is actually living each day. I want to live each day.

I must surrender these thoughts into the heart of my Heavenly Father, they are of no good use to me here in my own mind and soul. They seek to destroy and confuse and I would rather live without the both of those.

On a more girly-I-have-butterflies-when-I-think-of-him-note,

He is adorable.
He is precious.
He makes me feel safe.
He makes me feel at ease.
He makes me laugh.
He is masculine.
He is hysterical.
He is joyful.
He is HANDSOME.
He has a beautiful heart.
He has a loving spirit.
He is tender.
He is strong.
He is bold.
He is quiet.
He is lovely.
He is intriguing.
He is a gentleman.
He is exciting.
He is mysterious.
He is so many things I've yet discovered.


He is my sweet surprise, even with all the risk involved.