Husband and I are f i v e days away from leaving for our three month get-a-way. Who gets to do that? I haven't been away from home for more than a couple weeks for six years. I'm not worried about where we're going. And it is exciting to spend three uninterrupted months with my sweet man and together with our sweet Lord. But I woke up realizing that today I need to process through and maybe grieve a little over what we will leave behind. I love my husband, and he is certainly my home. But I also do love my family and friends here. Right now it feels sad to leave them to experience the summer in Southern California without us. It will be sad to not be able to pick up the phone to tell my mom what silly thing I just did that no one else would understand because those are moments only she and I share. In that, we are really the same. Besides missing weddings and weekend trips with friends, it's the little things I'm grieving over today. I'll miss our notorious girls' nights with incredible food and the best chats I've ever had. I'll miss evenings spent with my mom - they are so rare nowadays anyway. I'll miss what I know. What is familiar. What I've somewhere along the way claimed as "mine".
With all that said, I do not put my foot forward with regret or even sorrow. I also leave those behind. I enter into the new season with my sweet husband with such anticipation of adventure. We will be collectors of stories for three months. No one else will collect them, but they will be immensely valuable. We will collect memories. We will build on what is Us by sharing experiences together. Good, bad, scary, fun, new, exciting, odd, hysterical. We will be challenged as people, as a couple. We will grow as individuals and as One. That is irreplaceable and we walk into this adventure praying that we soak up all that the Lord would have for us. We will come back different people and that is something I so look forward to. I am so grateful to dive into this summer of so many unknowns. Although I'm having a moment of sadness, it is just that. A moment. A necessary moment. It says that I'm blessed. I don't expect to come back to a life that was on pause for three months. This life here will also grow and develop and change. Just as we will do. And that is also thrilling.
Cheers to loving what I have and loving what's to come,
MrsZulu
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